College football got underway in earnest this past weekend. It should have been a beautiful thing, with big time matchups, maybe an upset or two, and a chance to sweep the offseason nonsense under the carpet.

Instead, the carpet was completely pulled back, and it made me cranky.

Remember in week zero when the big story was the lack of a crowd at the USC game? Yea, nobody else does either after this weekend.

Here are my mostly cranky thoughts after week one.

***Let’s start with the elephant in the room. Western Michigan was screwed out of the biggest victory in their school’s history. As anyone not living under a rock knows, the Broncos game with Michigan ended with a Hail Mary pass by Michigan sailing out of the back of the end zone. 12-7 Western Michigan wins. Then a suspicious second some how was found during a cloak and dagger video review, and Michigan would get one more play. This time the prayer was answered and Michigan won the game 13-12.

Granted, you should always be able to defend a Hail Mary. However, when the clock runs out the game should be over. None of the goobledygook the Big Ten, the MAC, or anyone else put out as an excuse was a sufficient explanation. Two clocks blah blah blah…synchronization blah blah blah…tenths of a second blah blah blah. It was all just blah blah blah. Too many former officials and people privy to replay find the excuses unworthy. Me too. No view and no clock I saw suggested there was any time left on the clock when the ball was touched.

Michigan has gone from Connor Stallion sign stealing under Mr. Clean Jim Harbaugh to Sherrone Moore and butter knife threats to storming the field after ripping off a MAC team. Quite a journey for the Wolverines. In this case, I don’t think Michigan is at fault —well, other than the field storming. This was poor use of replay, and potentially the Big Ten stepping on the scale. Even that is a stretch, however, because how could anyone predict a successful Hail Mary. No, I just think this was another example of incompetence and further reason to question whether replay is making anything better.

Nationalizing officiating should happen immediately. No more conference affiliations. That is what should come out of this latest debacle. With all of the gambling on sports, the last thing you want is any hint of controversy or bias.

***Here comes an “I told you so.” On my Wall2WallFootball podcast I suggested that if Lane Kiffin could run it up on Dabo and Clemson he would. We’ll, he did. Kiffin’s was so bored with the blowout he took time to shoot hoops on the sidelines.

 


Kiffin did say during his halftime interview, “Just think if we had NFL players.” He said that because Kiffin loves his new role as —to use pro wrestling jargon— the biggest heel in the company. Kiffin, and more likely his school, decided to not add the two former NFL players to the roster. That, of course, could change. The next judge’s ruling is just around the corner.

As for his team, Kiffin has a talented bunch. One week is one week, but this is why I picked LSU to make the playoffs. As for Clemson, rock bottom is pulling up on them quickly. Dabo is going to have to poop or get off the pot(to put in Dabo language). He is unwilling to change with the times, and he is getting left behind. More importantly, when Brent Venables and Tony Elliott left Clemson as the defensive and offensive coordinators, the Tigers ship started taking on water. Swinney may be above firing, but I would think it is getting closer to the point where a mutual parting may happen.

***North Carolina didn’t play but the fighting Belichicks still made the headlines. Son Steven Belichick has been accused of using and providing cocaine to players.

 


Exactly zero people were shocked by that news.

***Notre Dame needs to stop putting shiny gold stuff on their already ugly uniforms. Go back to the uniforms of yesteryear, you know, when you used to win national titles.

Wisconsin looks a little better, which Luke Fickell desperately needs. Notre Dame, a traditionally slow starter, looked solid if not spectacular.

***Mississippi and Louisville provided the one good game. It is a shame that there was only one, but that is a sign of the times unfortunately. Both offenses were light years ahead of the defenses. Trinidad Chambliss was supposed to be lights out and he was just that. Lincoln Kienholz had a lot of question marks, including from his head coach, but performed just as well. In the end, Ole Miss had one more kick than the Cards.

Ironically, Louisville may still have an easier path to the playoffs. The Cards are likely to be favorites in the rest of their games. Meanwhile, Ole Miss has Florida, LSU, Texas, Georgia, and Oklahoma among others left on the schedule. The defense will need to get light years better, and fast.

***Penn State fans, oh boy. If I am reading the comments and messages properly, Beelzabub has left Happy Valley to coach Hokies in Hell, and Jesus Christ has been resurrected and returned to Happy Valley as Matt Campbell. Those Nits fans are a lot.

***Sean McDonough and Greg McIlroy should be the number one announce team for ESPN, and it is not close. No offense to Chris Fowler, but he is stale and his partner Peter’s owner…well, enough already. I can’t even stand to see him on my TV screen. I feel like even when my TV is off, his image is burned into the screen. And don’t get me started on a store being opened to sell items with his dog’s image. Good Lord, it is almost like someone letting their cat pick football games. But nobody would do that.

***Sadly, ESPN Gameday is officially unwatchable. Rece Davis, bless his heart, is just fine. The rest of them should all go mute. Desmond Howard keeping his job as all these other ESPN employees get fired is one of life’s great mysteries. He has always been awful, and displayed that trait when discussing the Michigan screw job. Cackle all the way, Desmond. Pat McAfee loves his frat boy heel routine, which makes it even worse. Nick Saban is the world’s biggest hypocrite, now stumping for Congress to pass the bill saving college sports from the horrors of the players getting paid. I guess it was okay when only he paid players. Kirk Herbstreit…wait, you mean he’s on this show too? Barf.

For more of my thoughts, check out this week’s Wall2WallFootball, where I will rub it in my cat’s face that I beat her in this week’s pick ‘em. Wait, I was the guy with the cat?

Tweet of the Week

Sometimes you see something that reminds you of yourself. This was not one of those times. From one of the slowest humans(me) to this bolt of lightning(Konnor Griffin), I say thank you for giving Pirates fans something to hang their hats on.

 


The Weekly Shiny Penny

It was hard to pick just one, because the Michigan screw job gave us so much. Here is my pick.

 


A Penny For My Final Thoughts…

Some final thoughts on the start of NFL…

  • I am not a huge fan of starting the season on a Wednesday, but it did allow for this beauty of a commercial.

 

  • Mike Vrabel can say he has moved on from Russini-Gate but nobody else did, meaning it will come up repeatedly.
  • Tua will start for the Falcons in week one vs the Steelers. The Steelers couldn’t ask for a more favorable week one.
  • Over/under on mentions that Mike McCarthy is a Pittsburgh guy set at 50.
  • The Steelers better get rookie Max Iheanachor ready quickly. There is only so much of Dylan Cook fans can tolerate.
  • Get a taste of NFL on Wednesday, then scramble for your Netflix password for Thursday.
  • Prediction: We will see at least one kick return for a touchdown in week one.
  • There are some tasty matchups in week one. Enjoy.
Just my two cents…