If you want to know what being a Pittsburgh Pirates fan is like, just go watch the first 15 minutes of the great baseball movie Major League.

“Wish we had him two years ago.”
“We did.”
“Four years ago then.”

“Who is that?”

“Still hits the ball pretty well.”
“Yea, he just can’t field it.”

“I don’t recognize that guy.”

And the best line of all, “Look at this ****ing guy.”

That, ladies and gentlemen, is the Pittsburgh Pirates for most of the past 46 years, but more specifically the last 6 years. The only difference between the Pirates and the fictional Cleveland Indians is that manager Lou Brown and GM Charlie Donovan aren’t walking through the door.

This year won’t be any different and, in fact, may be worse for Pirates fans.

The Pittsburgh Pirates kicked off the 2025 campaign by dropping three of four games to the worst team in the National League. I follow baseball pretty closely, and I didn’t know one of the guys in the Miami Marlins lineup. They are essentially a minor league team.

And the Pirates lost three of the four games. Not to worry, they followed that up with a flatline performance last night versus Tampa Bay.

Look no further than the Sunday lineup the Pirates “brain trust” used against the Marlins.

  • Adam Frazier hit leadoff. He of the .202 batting average last year. Frazier shouldn’t hit leadoff for your kid’s little league team.
  • Tommy Pham hit third. Pham is 37 years old and only a mere 6 years removed from his best season. Pham shouldn’t hit third for your kid’s little league team.
  • Andrew McCutchen hit cleanup. Cutch is 38 years old, and at this point in his career should not be hitting cleanup. Not even for your kid’s little league team.
  • Jack Suwinski hit fifth. He batted .182 a year ago and was demoted to AAA where he continued to struggle. He could be demoted to your kid’s little league team and he still shouldn’t hit fifth.
  • Jared Triolo hit seventh. Triolo hit .216 last year, but the good news is he only struck out 118 times in limited appearances. Triolo wouldn’t make your kid’s little league team.
  • Somebody named Enmanuel Valdez hit eighth and played first base. He hit .214 last year in 200 at bats with Boston. He played zero games at first base in Boston. Valdéz IS on your kid’s little league team.

Losing to the Marlins three out of four is like your kid’s little league team losing to the team that only has eight players. 

Even when the Pirates field their regular lineup they have their best catcher playing first base, their worst catcher catching, a shortstop playing center field, and a utility players playing his worst position of shortstop. With Nick Gonzalez injured, the Pirates have turned to Adam Frazier while Liover Peguero and Nick Yorke —two young players the team should probably find out about— toiling in AAA.

And that bullpen.

Kyle Nicolas showed promise last year, so of course he was sent to AAA. Carmen Mlodzinski also showed promise, but despite a lot of starting pitching depth, was moved into the rotation. The biggest blow was not spending the money to bring back Aroldis Chapman, clearly the best reliever in 2024, or finding a comparable replacement.

These guys have been replaced by bums that had ERA’s in the sixes last season. Plus, by not making any true additions to the pen the Pirates are saying they are comfortable relying on Colin Holderman and David Bednar for the eighth and ninth innings. Why? Were they not paying attention last year? Holderman fell off a cliff in the second half of the year and Bednar was terrible all year.

After five games it is clear the Pirates were wrong for expecting bounce backs from these two. Nobody else is surprised, and neither are the Pirates. They took the cheap and foolish way out of filling out the bullpen.

The Pirates brought not one legitimate hitter onboard either.

The organization took this approach despite having the best pitcher on the planet rostered. Paul Skenes also has a pretty decent supporting cast in the rotation with more waiting in the wings. Yet, the fact is that if the starters don’t go nine and throw a shutout there is a good chance they won’t accumulate many victories.

Mlodzinski wasn’t very good last night, but it wouldn’t have mattered. The Pirates potent offense mustered 4 hits in the 6-1 loss to Tampa Bay. The Rays are forced to play in a minor league stadium this year. You would think the Pirates would feel right at home in such a venue.

It is bad enough you have an owner in Pittsburgh who cries poor because he is too incompetent at business to make money. In turn his solution is to not put money into his product. Add to that fact that manager Derek Shelton and GM Ben Cherington are equally incompetent.

Granted, Cherington is hamstrung by Nutting’s lack of spending. However, in year six to assemble a team worse than it was the year before is borderline impossible to do. Yet, looking at this roster it is hard to argue that isn’t true. Forget the 1-4 start and just hone in on the absolute lack of talent on this roster. Look at who he kept and who he sent down. Look at the lack of game changing talent in the minors. Look at his trade record. It is year six for Cherington. The Pirates are in worse shape than they were when he took over. Yet he is still employed.

With the understanding that manager Derek Shelton has not been given a lot to work with, he should also be fired. It is year six for Shelton as well. The team is never sound fundamentally. Never. Just in these first five games we have witnessed a total lack of fundamentals. Base running blunders aplenty, throwing to the wrong base, and miscommunication are not great qualities for a team that lacks talent. Physical errors happen to everyone, but constant mental errors are unacceptable. Honestly, Shelton should have been fired years ago.

So, maybe you aren’t a fan of the movie Major League. And if that’s true may you suffer 100 curses. How about the movie Groundhog Day?  

Forget 46 years. Since 1993 the Pirates haven’t just been bad, but in a preposterously large number of those seasons they’ve been flat out awful. There was 2013-2015 to give fans some hope, then the current ownership pulled the carpet out from under the fan base.

So let’s just keep it simple and focus on the last six years. The Nutting/Cherington/Shelton years, as it were. Every day is like the last. Every season is like the previous season. The losses pile up. Look at what these Groundhog Day-like seasons are doing to this once proud franchise.

 

A team with that kind of history, over that length of time, shouldn’t be in this position. No stat is more disparaging, yet proof, of how the last 46 years have gone for the Pirates.

Some will say to relax because it is just five games. That’s the point. It only took five games to realize a Pirates team that employs Paul Skenes looks easily like a 95-100 loss team. Again. Groundhog Day.

In the Bill Murray classic, Phil —Murray’s character— had a great line in predicting the weather. Let me tweak it just a tad for the purpose of making my point.

“You want a prediction about baseball? I’ll give you a Pirates prediction. It’s gonna be cold, it’s gonna be grey, and it’s gonna last the rest of your life.”

That’s it. The perfect description of what it’s like to be a Pirates fan. Cold and grey. Over and over and over…

Two Cent Takes

MLB

~The Yankees were smart enough to construct a new bat. Now people want it banned. Why? The torpedo bat isn’t the first re-make of the baseball bat. If it continues to work then follow the old adage, “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.”

 

~Kyle Schwarber is hot out of the gate, with 3 home runs and 6 RBI. The Phillies starting pitching has been solid the first trip around. They will need that to hold up.

~Roki Sasaki had a rough debut for the Dodgers. He received a 6.5 million dollar signing bonus. That alone would make me get over feeling bad about my debut. He is 23. He will be fine. With that lineup in LA, he doesn’t have to be great.

 

NHL

~John Tortorella was fired in Philly. Flyers fans rejoiced, but I am disappointed that Torts was never truly vintage Torts in Philly. 

~Sidney Crosby passed Wayne Gretzky for seasons averaging a point per game. It was his 20th straight such season. Crosby truly does seem timeless.

~Meanwhile, Alex Ovechkin is 4 goals away from breaking Gretzky’s all time goal record. This was a cool moment as Ovi made his teammates lineup to shake Marc-Andre Fleury’s hand as the great goalie is due to retire at season’s end. Ovi knows how tough it was to get the puck behind Fleury.

 

NBA

~Sixers fans cross your fingers. The 76ers will be in the hunt for the Cooper Flagg sweepstakes. Right now the Sixers would be a 10.5% chance of getting the top pick.

College Football

~Andrew Luck is the new GM at Stanford and he immediately fired head coach Troy Taylor amid reports Taylor bullied female staff. Luck hired Frank Reich on an interim basis, allowing the school to lead a full scale search for a permanent replacement. Interesting times in Palo Alto.

~Coach Prime signed a five year extension worth 54.1 million dollars. Seems a bit much for a guy with only 13 total wins.

College Hoops

~Teams are already signing players out of the portal. My God, this system is broken. Coaches making deals midseason with another school. Coaches prepping for the Sweet Sixteen while throwing the AD under the bus and negotiating with another school. The portal opening before the tournament is over. Now players signing with new teams when we should be focused on the biggest weekend in the sport. Broken. All of it.

The Weekly Shiny Penny

There aren’t many WWII vets still with us, so this was pretty cool.

 

A Penny For My Final Thought…

I haven’t forgotten March Madness.

For only the second time in history, all four number one seeds have made the Final Four. I didn’t have Auburn, but did have Florida, Duke, and Houston. I knew I shouldn’t trust Tom Izzo.

More on the matchups later.

I love March Madness as much as any other sporting event of the year. I always will. But facts are facts, and this year’s tournament has been somewhat lackluster.

We have seen only one buzzer beater, and there was no Cinderella reaching the second week. Some think that is a good thing. It is not. Cinderellas are what make this tournament special. Even if you don’t have a rooting interest, pulling for the underdog is sort of the American way.

Many claimed since we had all high seeds left for the Sweet Sixteen the games would be tremendous.

They were not.

You want to have games that are still in doubt when they reach the final two or three minutes. Only three games fit the bill. Mississippi hung with Michigan State until the end. Purdue had Houston on the ropes, and it took a great inbound play in the last seconds for Houston to pull out the victory. Finally, Texas Tech had to come from 16 down to sneak a victory over Arkansas.

In the Elite Eight we got one quality game. Texas Tech was up 9 on Florida with under three minutes to play. Walter Clayton put the Gators on his back and carried them to a massive comeback from behind victory.

It hasn’t just been the lack of close games, but the quality of play. Sloppiness abounds, while officiating has been typically questionable. And the constant stoppages for reviews has gotten increasingly annoying.

I am not suggesting that this pattern will continue for future NCAA Tournaments, but it may. Mid majors have all their good players poached via the transfer portal. Mid majors can’t keep their good coaches, as they leave to go to a power conference team. Matchups in the tournament matter, so it is hard to predict future patterns. But the landscape of college basketball has changed, and it could very well mean more of these chalky tournaments.

As for the Final Four.

I never leave my picks when they are still alive. Therefore I will still take Florida to win it all. Truth be told, I don’t love their chances. The Gators beat Auburn on February 8 at Auburn. Auburn hit a lull late in the regular season, but they appear to have regrouped. While Auburn has been in charge of all of their matchups, Florida has needed come from behind efforts twice.

With all due respect to Cooper Flagg, Walter Clayton is the best player in this tournament. Often a team that has that dude that carries the team on their back goes all the way. For my bracket’s case I hope that is the case.

On the other half of the bracket is Duke and Houston. I originally had Houston making the championship game, but that may be difficult. I came into the tournament saying Florida was the best team, but I now have to say Duke is the best team. I don’t see how Houston will score enough to beat Duke, especially if LJ Cryer continues to struggle.

My head says Duke is going to win this thing. They have the most complete team and an elite coach. My heart, my bracket, and the fact I don’t want to hear from the Cracked Crystal Ball has me standing by my Florida pick.

Bottom line. No Bruce Pearl and his Antonio Brown Call God ripoff. Pearl is nauseating. No Duke. I mean, it’s Duke. Duke is always nauseating.

Here’s to seeing lots of Gator Chomps this weekend.

Just my two cents…