By Tim Clark / / Penn State, Football, Column, Tim's Two Cents
Two

I attended my first whiteout game on Saturday.

I learned that I am as old as my age says I am. As I turn 60 tomorrow, I now realize events like the whiteout game are not in my best interest. In other words, I am officially an old fuddy duddy.

USC won the game, which was a saving grace for me.

What has led me to this self evaluation of fuddy duddyism?

Tailgating at Penn State is elite level. It is an all day party. Those are three words my body and mind can no longer accept. We showed up at 11:00 AM and started packing up at 6:00 PM. Seven hours. Without a nap.

It was a blast hanging out with old friends. We always have a good time when we are together. Our hosts and ticket providers, the illustrious Purnells of Elicott City, had an awesome setup. Tons of food, drink, and music. I brought the cornhole boards. I met new people, not one of my strong suits, and even met some boys who graduated from USC in recent years that stopped by to hang out.

Our tailgate paled in comparison to a lot that I saw walking around. My pal Eric and I walked over to see the USC pep rally, but of course you needed a QR code to get in. At least we got to move around a bit, and see the other impressive tailgate setups. It was a much needed break in my afternoon.

By 5:00 I had mingled to my max. That was when the tailgate across from us turned into a dance party. There were parents and students partying together. The men broke out cigars, many of the girls had vapes, and the alcohol was really flowing. I never felt like more of an old fuddy duddy in my life.

I was spent by that point, and was thinking how nice my couch would feel with a cat in my lap and the big screen TV jumping from game to game. It never crossed my mind to whoop it up like those people were doing. I just wanted the game to start. 

Fuddy. Duddy.

The tailgate experience was topped off with mostly no cell service, meaning not getting many updates on other games. And using port-a-pottys that drunk college kids were using all day wasn’t ideal for a fuddy duddy either.

Finally it was time for the game.

Even though I miss the days of ticket stubs, the Face ID recognition system made entry into the stadium a breeze. That will be the last positive comment about the Penn State in stadium experience.

For three straight hours I had to sit with my knees in one of three places. I could scrunch them side ways in a way someone my age shouldn’t bend their knees. I could jam them three to four inches deep into the guy’s spleen in front of me. Or, I could jam them up my…anyway, it was a moot point. Why, you ask? Because we did more up downs than either of the two teams on the field did last week in practice. Oh, and the seat backs my friend paid for —I assume— were not helpful. If anything they were just in the way.

For added fun, I got stepped on and stepped over approximately 400 times by people that insisted on going out to the bathroom or concession stands. Meanwhile two rows in front of me there was some young individual that needed to be seen. He would randomly stand up and yell, “We Are”. When nobody would answer, he started calling to others a section over that he knew and pleaded for them to answer. I think “we are” an idiot.

I remember a day when you went to a college football game and the bands played dueling fight songs and other appropriate tunes. Now a sound system set up to deafen people blares music almost non stop. I had AC/DC, Journey —and please stop singing along young people like you were alive when that song was released— and somebody or something called Mo Bamba blaring in my ears. And I even like AC/DC and Journey. Only occasionally could I hear the USC band playing. Of course it didn’t help that Penn State was kind enough to place them in an upper corner of the end zone directly next to the moon. Hey, I wonder if they could see the much anticipated drone show at halftime?

The public address announcer should be dismissed as well. Saying the score backwards just to mention Penn State first reminds me of the little kids on the playground pretending to be announcers but not knowing you always say the high score first.

From being wedged into my seat causing me to need a week of chiropractic work to get everything back in alignment to losing my hearing to listening to a jackass say the score backwards, it was not a pleasant stadium experience. It was an awesome sight in person to see all those silly white pom poms flying, and the Penn State team entrance was on point.

 Penn State could make the stadium experience so much better. Quit trying to wedge even more people into an already too tight space, can the DJ music and let the bands be heard, and fire the guy who can’t say the score correctly. Oh, and don’t promise a drone show if it isn’t going to get high enough for us to see.

I do like being live at a game because you definitely see things that you don’t on television. Another good point for Penn State is they showed all the important replays including the plays that went under review. Unfortunately, while me and probably 30 to 40 thousand other fans really wanted to just watch the game, the other 70 thousand are there just to party and say they were there.

Much thanks to my gracious hosts. I did have fun despite this column. Most of my complaints are directed at Penn State. For those that know me, that will come as no surprise.

God bless the people who do that week after week, year after year. Especially now that they are making the cost of it all prohibitive to at least some of their fans.

From now on, this old fuddy duddy is going to park his realigned butt on his sofa with pizza and a Diet Coke and watch the games on my big screen TV.

Yes, I know. As I typed that sentence I realize just how fuddy duddy I have become. 

Tweet of the Week

Mike Evans with an all time disrespect on Trayvon Diggs.

 


The Weekly Shiny Penny

No band supports their football team quite like USC. Wish I would have kept walking around the bottom of the stadium to see this.

 


A Penny For My Final Thoughts…

Some quick thoughts this week…

  • The Brewers are just so much fun to watch play baseball.
  • There are no great teams in the NFL this year.
  • The Ravens are the luckiest team in the NFL, with two teams gifting them wins.
  • There may not be any great teams in college football either. I think Ohio State, Georgia, and Alabama are the closest.
  • Don’t look now, but another coach from James Madison is about to lead his team to the playoffs in year one. As I have stated many times, Bob Chesney was the best hire of the year and UCLA is about to reap the rewards.
  • Penn State is…not good. Remember, Bob Chesney wanted the job.
  • The Pens are going to keep trading until they find some competent defensemen.
  • I have a feeling the Flyers will win a game before Thanksgiving.
  • Somehow college hoops is on the horizon.
Just my two cents…