By Tim Clark / / Baseball, Column, Tim's Two Cents
Two

For the fourteenth summer in a row, my son and I headed to the Jersey Shore for our vacation. We have a blast every year as we spend a couple days at Ocean City, then the rest of the week in Wildwood with a day trip to Cape May mixed in.

Cape May provides us a chance at a history lesson at the Cape May Lighthouse. This year the lighthouse keeper gave us a great lesson on the usage of the lighthouse and the bunkers on the beach below during WW II. The guy really knew his stuff and gave us great information from that time period. A hike through Cape May Point State Park followed, which allowed us to see lots of cool vegetation and wildlife.

Ocean City and Wildwood are polar opposites. Ocean City is progressive, clean, and laid back. The town is fantastic, and should be an example for all small/medium sized towns. Sure tourism helps, but there are shops of absolutely every type and a tremendous variety of eateries. We always take a walk over to the high school. The football field is turfed and open to the public. It is immaculate, and I assume one of the few schools that can boast a boardwalk less than fifty yards away.

Ferris
Ocean City high school football field

 

The boardwalk is very kid friendly and family oriented. It is low key with lots of mini golf courses(more on that later).

Wildwood is very conservative in a wild and crazy kind of way. The town isn’t really meant for shopping and socializing but does have some mini golf, restaurants, and many varieties of liquor stores. The boardwalk is two miles long and has three Morey’s amusement piers that jut out towards the Atlantic Ocean. In amongst the shops and eateries are tons of arcades and games of chance. It is basically a two mile long carnival. My son and I have found a home over the years at Mariner’s Arcade, where enough points can win lots of cool stuff including sports memorabilia.

All in all it is a great week, and although I take a break from doing any podcasts sports are never far away.

Here are some sports things —well sort of at least— I learned while on vacation.

*Unless you are a Philly sports fanatic, you have no idea how neurotic these people are. I started figuring this out on the drive to the shore. While listening to WIP sports radio I realized these people can find the negative in damn near anything. I am convinced former Eagle Hugh Douglas may be the only normal person in Philly. Even that isn’t true because he is located in Wildwood. Here are some of the things mentioned by fans and the radio hosts.

  • The Phillies, because they have lost a few series recently, need multiple bats and multiple arms at the trade deadline.
  • The Phillies will not win a playoff series with their current bullpen.
  • They are petrified recently released Whit Merrifield will find himself in Atlanta.
  • Bryson Stott is finished as an every day player.
  • Recently acquired Austin Hays is the second coming of Stan Musial.
  • The Eagles should fire Nick Sirianni and hire Jalen Hurts’ dad.
  • Jalen Hurts must make up with Sirianni if the Eagles are to be successful. Anything short of an apology will be unacceptable. 
  • Even though they feel that way about Hurts, it is really Sirianni’s fault for rolling Hurts’s buddy Brian Johnson under the bus for the Eagles offensive woes a year ago. Johnson was the Eagles OC.
  • Sirianni won’t be the coach next year.
  • They like Flyer Travis Konecny, but not 8 years of him.
  • The 76ers had a great offseason, but it is up to Joel Embiid’s health as always.
  • On Joel Embiid saying he could be the greatest player ever: “Joel has been,  is currently, and always will be delusional.”

I actually agree with at least three of those items, but I am amazed that the callers and the hosts were so consistently negative. About everything.

*Being a sports fanatic means wearing your favorite team’s gear. This will always lead to some great sports talk with people you just met. While wearing my Pirates gear, I had several brief conversations on the boardwalk at Ocean City with Pittsburgh sports fans.

All three involved a commiseration on being long suffering Pirates fans. One gentleman from Pittsburgh has hope that the Pirates are about to turn the corner. Like me the other two I talked to don’t trust the owner. The man from Pittsburgh also chatted me up about the Steelers and Penguins. I was wearing my new Penguins hat and we both decided the Pens better find a way to win soon before Sidney Crosby finally slows down.

A local gentleman working at Mia’s, a Christmas store in town, had a long conversation with me about Pittsburgh/Philly sports. He was obviously a Philly fan, but thought the Pirates had a chance this year because of Paul Skenes. He also wanted to know who was going to be the Steelers quarterback. I told him my hope was that Justin Fields figures things out because I just don’t trust Russell Wilson. I told him what I had heard on the radio, and he gave a hearty laugh and said, “That’s Philly for you.” Again, non Philly fans have no idea. It was a great chat and allowed me to ignore that I was spending too much money on Christmas ornaments.

While wearing my USC gear, I had several people ask me about the switch to the Big Ten. One of the workers at Mariner’s Arcade in Wildwood asked what is always the first question, “Are you from Cali?” I informed him I was from Central PA and it was a long story on me becoming a Trojans fan. He was a Penn State fan and was anxious to see new teams play the Nittany Lions. We both agreed that we wanted to see the USC game next year at Penn State.

Additionally, I got two “Fight On’s” and a “Go USC” from people on the boardwalk, which infuriates my son. I guaranteed him long ago that when I wear my USC gear somewhere away from where people know me I will get at least one Fight On. The streak continues, and my son’s ire grows.

I am not a people person, to be honest, but I seem to have a friendly face. The fact of the matter is, I will talk sports with anybody. I find it quite interesting to hear from sports fans I don’t know. I think being a sports talk show host where callers give opinions would be a blast.

*Boardwalk games involve sports, sports mentality, and, to some extent, sports skills.

I never do the football game in Wildwood. You have to knock 5 pylons off there ledge at differing distances to win a jersey. I have never seen anyone win that game, and since I was no quarterback I choose to skip it.

I did try the basketball three point game. The thing is, it was not regulation length. During my day job as a school teacher, I shoot baskets at recess all the time. I know what it feels like to shoot three point shots. When I got out there I realized it was almost more like a half court heave. Admittedly, I was also rusty. Here is my 0-fer.

 

 

In addition to seeing my ever growing bald spot, the guy that followed me had the same problem getting the ball to the rim. Ah, vindication.

I did have success shooting baskets at the small rims where the ball has to drop right in. I won a now famous Sunny the seagull eating a piece of pizza for my troubles.

Seagull

My son and I both won at the quarter pitch.  There is some skill involved with this game. Angles and getting enough air under the quarter are essential. It may not become an Olympic sport, but it does require some sports skills.

Things I know about myself are that I am a grown man who likes stuffed animals, I love to play arcade games and games of chance, and I love to win arcade games and games of chance. So, the next two things on my list are no surprise.

For the past four years I have seen a giant orange gorilla that I have always wanted to win. This year the gorilla was at the dart game. Why not? Spend enough money, bust enough balloons, and take home the gorilla. Hey, darts are a sport. Aren’t they? Admittedly this game was a bit easier than trying to hit a bullseye or a triple 20. Here I go for the win.

 

 

The big sports prize came inside Mariner’s Arcade. My son and I love to play the games at Mariner’s. Most of the big point games are coin pusher games where you have to get a complete set of cards. There is always one card that is hard to get. With the Wizard of Oz game it is Toto, you need to get the golden ticket in Willy Wonka, there are two tough to find cards —Auqaman and Darkseid— in the Super Heroes game. There are also games like the Flintstones, Cosmic Tower, and Ball Drop that we enjoy. Mariner’s has tons of prizes ranging from Legos to cookware to stuffed animals to games and toys. They also have sports pictures and autographed memorabilia. In past years I have won a TJ Watt, Mean Joe Greene, and Najee Harris autographed authentic helmets. I also won a Marcus Allen USC mini helmet, a Hines Ward mini Steelers helmet, and a Chevy Chase signed Caddyshack Funko Pop. This year the target was a Jerome Bettis alternate helmet.

Bettis

Mission accomplished. We threw in an autographed Friday the 13th Jason mask autographed by Ari Lehman, the man behind the mask. Let’s face it, Jason could have been a great defensive end if he would have put his mind to it. Turns out he was focused on other things.

*When COVID hit and canceled all sports, we were forced to watch darts, cornhole, and other “marginal” sports. It prompted me to begin a tongue in cheek segment on whether mini golf was a sport. Each year since 2020 I have done a video defending mini golf as a sport. All good things must come to an end, so this will be the final year for this segment. Five years feels like plenty.

I have always liked mini golf, and I will die on the hill that it is a sport. Okay, maybe I won’t die on that hill but if cornhole and darts and bowling are sports covered on ESPN —oh, and billiards— then mini golf has to be considered a sport. I am a firm believer that if there is a ball involved it is a sport.

With all that said, I thought for my final year of my tongue in cheek mini golf is a sport segment that I would let you see all of the takes compiled together. Shout out to my son and his camera work and all the various courses we videotaped from.

 

 

Some people go on vacation and unplug from the world. For me, sports never get completely unplugged. I talk sports on vacation. I follow the highlights and scores on vacation. I even play sports —well, sort of— on vacation.

A fanatic never totally shuts down. Not even at the beach.

Two Cent Takes

NFL

~Jordan Love and Tua Tagovailoa got paid last week. Both only got four years, but lots of guaranteed money. Love is now the highest paid player in the league. That seems odd. Both signings show how starved teams are for good quarterbacks. Love had one good season, and quite frankly didn’t turn it on until week ten last year. Tua is injury prone and doesn’t look to me like a quarterback that can win a Super Bowl. Looking around the league I am sure the Packers and Dolphins figure they could do a whole lot worse.

~It is that time of year for some no name player to grab everyone’s attention during training camp. Early on, quarterback Kyle Allen has looked strong in Latrobe. Meanwhile, George Pickens got into a shouting match with his new receivers coach. Between that, Najee Harris’ irritability, and Cam Heyward’s contract unrest, the Steelers have had an interesting start to camp.

College Football

~The NCAA hopes the settlement of their recent lawsuit will set up a functional system to compensate athletes. They hope that illegitimate NIL deals with third parties will be flushed out. They hope NIL deals through the schools are legit and not boosters paying for play. Is it just me, or should we be very nervous when the NCAA hopes this much?

~ESPN is becoming unwatchable. All they do is scream nonsense at the screen. “Mad Dog” Russo has made a career out of screaming. Steven A. Smith is always yelling nonsense at viewers. Now college football “guru” Paul Finebaum is constantly raging. Finebaum first blasted Lincoln Riley, even saying Deion Sanders would be the best fit in LA when Riley gets fired. He clearly has a bone to pick with Riley. Then he continued his feud with Lane Kiffin, prompting Kiffin to tell him he wasn’t sure what Finebaum was good at. His latest target is Matt Rhule, stating Rhule should stop chirping about Nebraska being better. Apparently, Rhule should just accept second tier status for his program. Again, ESPN is becoming a cesspool.

~It was UCLA’s first Big Ten media day and new head coach Deshaun Foster went speechless on us. Oh my.

 

 

Golf

~Jon Rahm won his first LIV event, bringing him to tears. Earlier in the tournament it wasn’t tears, but more anger with the LIV crowds.

 

 

The victory may keep Rahm off the ledge for now.

MLB

~It is trade deadline season, but no big trades are coming. There are too many buyers and not enough sellers. Consequently the sellers want a king’s ransom for their better players. Some shrewd moves that didn’t cost all that much have gone down ahead of today’s deadline.

  • Jazz Chisholm has already paid dividends for the Yankees.
  • Baltimore added an arm and a defensive outfielder —Dominguez and Pache— from the Phillies for Austin Hays. Probably a win-win for both teams.
  • Randy Arozarena should help the Mariners anemic offense.
  • The Braves are bringing back Jorge Soler in an effort to plug a leak. The Braves are leaking major oil.

The Weekly Shiny Penny

This one was easy this week. Rays closer Pete Fairbanks is simply a good dude.

 

 

A Penny For My Final Thought…

For much of this summer Pirates fans have been debating whether the Pirates were trying to win. Over the past couple weeks, that morphed into what would the Pirates do at the trade deadline. Despite reports that owner Bob Nutting authorized spending, I wrote a couple weeks ago that the Pirates would be sellers like always. I surmised that they had too many holes to be true contenders.

With hours remaining before the deadline passes, I stand by my opinion.

First, I will never believe Nutting authorized spending until I actually see spending. Secondly, GM Ben Cherington is not very good at his job. I have no faith that he can add enough to get this team over the hump. Finally, I was correct about this team having too many holes.

I did, however, fail to account for a couple things. None of the other wildcard contenders are world beaters so the Pirates are closer than I thought. That now includes the Atlanta Braves. I also underestimated the heart these players have on this Pirates team.

Last night that heart was on full display. Paul Skenes had trouble commanding his pitches and probably had his worst outing. Ha, worst. He gave up one earned run over six innings. The offense, which is generally putrid, didn’t have a base runner for 5 2/3 innings. Then Yasmani Grandal hit a home run to break the seal. In the top of the eighth O’Neil Cruz tied it up. Finally, in the top of the ninth, Michael A Taylor wins it with a three run blast off Josh Hader.

Grandal and Taylor wouldn’t make most major league rosters, but they keep pushing to be better. Same for a lot of these guys. The numbers are rancid in a lot of cases, but the effort can’t be questioned. Thus, the Pirates are only 2 games out of the wildcard and 2.5 games out of the top wildcard spot. They certainly aren’t out of it.

Are they true contenders?

I still don’t think so.

Maybe by the time you read this the Pirates will have acquired a bat. Or maybe they will have traded a guy like Aroldis Chapman. In other words, the Pirates are stuck between buyer and seller. They may have to do both.

Here is the problem, putting aside the heart aspect of this team. This was the Pirates starting lineup Monday night.

 

 

At games end, two players have batting averages over .250. Cruz and Bryan Reynolds are carrying this offense. Rowdy Tellez has become acceptable, as has catcher Joey Bart. Andrew McCutchen has been fine for a 37 year old DH. When Bae and Palacios went down with injury, manager Derek Shelton was forced to insert Taylor and Connor Joe. Until his titanic blast last night, Taylor was hitting .199. Joe hasn’t been good since the first week in May.

Then there is the malady of Ke’Bryan Hayes. The guy just doesn’t hit anything hard. Two guys counted on to be key contributors —Jack Suwinski and Henry Davis— are in AAA. Suwinski may be back tomorrow depending on the injury status of Bae and Palacios plus potential trades. Davis may not be back until September, even though he is hitting well in AAA.

If you had one or two of these guys on the roster it wouldn’t be so bad. The Pirates have 8 players, not counting Suwinski and Davis, who would not start for any other team. Many would not make the roster of quite a few other teams. That is a lot of holes to fill.

You can hope for a trade, but it is hard to see one bat making a huge difference in this team.

The pitching has been fantastic, though Martin Perez and Marco Gonzales both need to go. It is hard, however, to win games 3-2 and 2-1 every night.

The Pirates best chance of getting a wildcard spot is to have Suwinski and Hayes catch fire. They have both shown it in the past.

The problem with this team won’t be a lack of moves made at the trade deadline, although I fully understand fans wanting to see them do something. At least we would know they have a pulse.

The problem with this team occurred in the offseason when Bob Nutting, for the gazillionth year in a row, hamstrung the GM financially, forcing the Pirates to sign scrap heap players rather than difference makers.

The other thing holding this team back is the lack of development from this GM and his coaching hires. Davis may be ruined. Suwinski regressed greatly. Hayes regressed greatly. Jared Triolo regressed. 23 year old Liover Peguero  is regressing in AAA.

Lack of spending and lack of player development doomed this team long before today’s trade deadline. Only great pitching and tremendous effort and heart has kept the Pirates hanging around.

Ben Cherington should be fired. He already has missed on some players at this deadline that other teams acquired for a song and dance. That fact aside, he should be fired for everything he has done up until this point.

So wring your hands if the Pirates don’t make any meaningful trades. Just remember, the problem didn’t start at the trade deadline. The problem started many years ago with a lack of financial backing and an astonishing level of incompetence.

I am talking about this guy.

 

 

No team has had to fight as big an uphill battle as the Pittsburgh Pirates. Today’s trade deadline won’t change that fact.

If this team makes the playoffs, the players will get my undying respect for overcoming an owner and front office that are one half incompetent and one half indifferent.

Just my two cents…